Dear Hope,

We received the last of the blood tests (I hope!). Everything came back normal. It makes me sad because everything is coming back normal yet something happened to you. However, your Dad made me see the bright side of it. He mentioned that nothing can stop us from trying again; a little brother or sister for you. Your Dad is really good at seeing the positive in things. After he mentioned that, my day got a little better. I am actually doing OK today. This past week was rough. We did a lot of crying.

We tried therapy on Tuesday. It’s not something your Dad is comfortable with but I think it might help me. It was nice talking about you. I am hoping she will teach me ways to deal with my sadness. Fingers cross it helps.

Monday is your due date. I am not sure how the day is going to go. Your Dad won’t be home at all next week because he has to work. I took off work because I am not sure how I am going to handle everything. The therapist asked if we were going to do anything special. Since your Dad won’t be home, we are going to try and do something together Sunday. I am not sure what we are going to do but we will figure it out. I want so badly to open your memory box from the hospital. I haven’t opened it since we got home after we delivered you. I want to but I am afraid all the emotions.

The therapist suggested doing something for myself that day. Maybe I’ll get a message or something to help keep my mind off everything. I’m still not sure. Can you image me getting upset during a message? That wouldn’t be very relaxing.

The next few weeks will be long. Your Dad is working a lot and I have to travel for work. It’s a little hard to think about because I should be on maternity leave. I miss you BK.


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